Imperfection...

Been feeling like shit recently, especially after the Maths paper yesterday. I was just sitting inside the exam hall, waiting for time to pass. Had wanted to write something, but I couldn't even think of anything to write. I'm ashamed to even think about the fact that I'm supposed to have studied for the subject in this semester. What the fuck am I doing seriously. I've been doing anything but studying. I'm expecting my grades this semester to be a lot worse than last sem. Great, suddenly I felt like an idiot. I've disappointed my parents yet again. ARGH!

I'm absolutely disgusted by my inability to deliver the goods when the time calls for it. I'm such a disappointment. I've never felt so pressured before in my life. This pressure to perform is driving me crazy. Not just the exams, but EVERYTHING!! Even after my exams, the tasks waiting for me to complete are making me sick. Why do I land myself in so much shit?? Please dun expect me to give and deliver too much, for I'm doubting my ability now.

I'm not good enough.

I feel I've been beaten down by the words of men who have no grounds. I can't sleep beneath the trees of wisdom when your ax has cut the roots that feed them. Forked tongues in bitter mouths can drive a man to bleed from inside out... (quoted from the song What if by Creed)