Dead old me...

It's been 1 month since. I'm still not used to life without her. Tried many things, but only compound to my sorrow. I'll like to think that she still loves me, but that's not the case. I've never been a fan of alcohol, and I seriously dun enjoy the taste of it. It doesn't help that after many shots, I'm still feeling sober. Do you really feel high after drowning urself with alcohol? I'm only feeling warm and sleepy, -__- pretty pointless for me. Waste of alcohol, waste of time, waste of money. Maybe I just need a new goal and start living my own life. Everything is too empty. I should start clearing all my stuff too. Too much reminders hanging around, not helping. I've been living in denial. Still believing that I'm attached. Time to wake up and start embracing singlehood. Freedom is welcoming me, tempting me with the opportunity to do anything, without feeling responsible to anyone anymore.

I do wish I can crawl out from my shell though, everyday has been a struggle. The pain still doesn't go away. The deeper the love, so is the cut. Pierced right through the heart. My Dera is gone, leaving the tree burning into ash.

我想維持禮貌忘記驕傲　
繼續做你唯一的城堡　
習慣就好　習慣就好　
是我選擇看不到分手預兆　
沒有一絲睡意的困擾無法治療　
習慣就好　習慣就好　
我承認我的偽裝是真的不夠好　
請給我多一秒
(quoted from the song 習慣就好 by 羅志祥)